If your worst nightmare is your wife selling your models for what you told her they cost... you might be a gamer.
If your idea of a night out drinking involves a case of Mountain Dew...You might be a war gamer.
If the only thing keeping your table even is the stack of old army lists you put under one leg... You might be a war gamer.
If you know of nothing that says "I love you" more than getting your girlfriend a Crown Royal bag you emptied earlier... You might be a war gamer.
If your sense of time revolves around how much time is left in the round... You might be a war gamer.
If your family vacation consists of little plastic men, dice and an overpriced hotel room for your loved ones while you're busy... You might be a war gamer.
If you determine the color of your house by the chapter of your Marines... You might be a war gamer.
If your reason for not owning a home is explained in terms of the cost of Games Workshops rapid fire release schedule recently... You might be a war gamer... "Just can't afford it right now, the Codex's are coming too fast".
If the sense of irony is thick enough you could cut it with a knife when you're telling your children to clean up their toys... You might be a War gamer.
If the only serious writing you've done in the past ten years was to write a paragraph explaining why 27 Auto Cannons is "fluffy"... You might be a War gamer.
If your cousin Earl looks at you funny because he asked you to go to the Casino with him and you keep yelling "I'm going to cheat on this one"... You might be a Malifaux player.
If it's choice between eating on the kitchen table or finishing a paint job on one, and your wife sighs while grabbing the paint brushes... You might be a War gamer.
If your only circle of friends wears nothing but witty one liners on their shirts... You might be a war gamer.
If Uncle Benny always says "why I remember you when you owned just THREE armies.." as his way of waxing nostalgic... You might be a War gamer.
When you answer every invitation to social events like funerals for example, with "I'll see if there's a tournament that weekend"... You might be a war gamer.